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Everyone likes to win, and conversely, no one likes to lose. Yet we will all lose at some point in our lives. We also know that people can be very critical of others. Criticism hurts. That’s why it is important to begin teaching your child how to respond to these situations now. 

• Talk with your child about how it feels to win (happy, proud, confident). Then ask her to describe what it feels like to lose (sad, angry, embarrassed). Discuss that in win/lose situations, there is usually only one winner and everyone else is considered a loser. She should focus on what she learned in the contest and congratulate the winner. Remind her that she is a “winner” when she loses with grace. And there will always be another opportunity to win.
• Set up opportunities for your child to win and lose. Play board games or have races to see who can do something the quickest. Praise him when he loses well.
• Your child will experience criticism at school, with friends, and eventually in the workplace. Teach her to respond by doing the following three steps: 
  • 1. Listen to the criticism without becoming angry or defensive. 
  • 2. Think about the criticism. Is it valid? Will it help me do better?  
  • 3. Take action. If it is helpful or if it is from a parent or teacher, follow the advice.  If it isn’t helpful or appropriate, ignore it.

When children learn to handle these external negative experiences, they will have less frustration and anxiety. And they will develop self-confidence, self-esteem, and will gain the respect of their peers.

As parents, we continually praise our children for their successes, but what do we teach them about failure? Children may take failure in tasks as meaning failure as a person. They may fear disappointing you or their teacher. It is important that we support our children when they make mistakes or fail, letting them know that it doesn’t change our view of them. We can also model a healthy way of handling failure in our own lives. Let your child see your mistakes and show him an attitude that says you will try again.

It is also equally important to recognize how much your child is affected by mistakes and failure. Does she obsess over getting things right, often redoing tasks that weren’t good enough? A desire for perfection can lead to anxiety and fear. Let your child know that it’s okay to do some things “less than perfect”. Help him see that you appreciate her effort to do the task well.

Finally, if you see that your child is developing more anxiety over mistakes and failure, to the point that it is affecting his willingness to attempt tasks, preventing sleep, or manifesting in physical symptoms such as stomach pains or headaches, please consult his pediatrician. Anxiety in children is real and can be debilitating in some cases.  

Helping your child develop a rich vocabulary is a powerful way to improve reading comprehension, writing skills, and communication skills. We know that children who participate in conversations at home are better able to glean meaning from oral communication in the classroom. Having access to a wide vocabulary gives children the ability to express thoughts and ideas in writing. So, how do you build your child’s vocabulary? Here are a few ideas to get you started.

1. Have a “Word of the Week”. Encourage everyone in the family to use it as frequently as possible.
2. Play a game where you start with a simple two-word sentence, such as “He ran.” Each person adds another word to make the sentence more interesting.
3. Start a “Cool Words List”. Whenever someone hears an interesting or unique word, find out what it means and add it to the list.
4. One way to improve writing skills is to speak in complete sentences. So often, we get in the habit of giving one or two word answers. Teach your child to speak complete thoughts. Practice this yourself. You’ll be amazed how infrequently you actually use full sentences.

 The school year is finally coming to an end! What will your children do during the summer now that most camps and classes have been cancelled. Start now talking with your children about what they would like to do during the summer break.  When asking them, do not use the word “learn”. They have been “learning” for months. Instead, ask what they would like to experience, discover, be able to do, or get better at. Give them time to come up with ideas and be willing to assist them. Try to get them to select things that can’t be done in one or two days. Have some ideas ready to get their minds going. Here are a few of mine, but the sky’s the limit: 

1. Learn a foreign language or sign language
2. Study the history of your city or state
3. Get better at a sport (baseball, soccer, dance)
4. Practice baking, canning, sewing, art
5. Learn how to take care of the car (change tire, change oil, etc)
6. Create an amazing “Lego City”

There are several articles from the National Association of School Psychologists (NASP) uploaded in Files. I will also post links to sites that you may find helpful in addressing needs during this time.  Here is the first site:

 https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/school-closed-due-to-the-coronavirus-tips-to-help-parents-cope-2020031819238